My Sweetest Pain
In a short story by Joey Goebel: the Multicontour Seats in the new CLS.
We’ve all heard that love can hurt.
I know that it’s been especially excruciating for me.
“My heart aches.”
Sadly, these phrases for me are not figurative
The reason that falling in love feels so good
is because it releases a pleasurable chemical called dopamine.
But in my case,
Mother Nature has pulled an absurdly cruel prank:
my body interprets this love chemical as pain.
Needless to say,
my love life has been difficult.
But miraculously, I’ve finally found a way to make it work.
I’ve fallen in love with a woman
who understands that our relationship must take place almost entirely
in my car.
As stupid as that sounds,
My car is the one place in the world
that my aching muscles get relief.
I can perfectly mold the seats to my pain-ridden carcass.
The seats are more sensitive to my needs
than most people I know.
So we drive
day and night,
roaming the planet,
a romantic carriage ride that never ends
she will eventually catch on,
just like all the others have.
They often want to believe my fictional affliction is real
because they like the idea of a man being so into them
that it literally hurts him.
The truth is
I just really like driving this car
and there’s nowhere I’d rather be than behind the wheel.
I wasn’t lying about the seats, though.